Two Employees Are in a Conflict: How Do I Handle It as a Manager?
Two members of your team are not getting along. The tension is affecting the work. Maybe they are openly arguing. Maybe the conflict is quieter but everyone can feel it. Either way, you are the manager and this is yours to address.
Interpersonal conflict is one of the most common and least enjoyable parts of managing people. Here is a practical framework for handling it well.
Step 1: Assess Before You Act
Before you do anything, understand what you are actually dealing with. There is a significant difference between:
• A personality or working style clash: two people who are compatible in most ways but clash on something specific
• A performance or accountability conflict: one person feels another is not pulling their weight or is making their job harder
• A conduct issue: one employee is behaving in a way that is unprofessional, disrespectful, or potentially harassing
The approach you take should match the type of conflict you are dealing with. A conduct issue involving potential harassment requires formal investigation. A working style clash may be resolved with a facilitated conversation and some clear expectations. For a practical walkthrough of what that investigation process looks like, see Employee Filed a Harassment Complaint: What Do I Do?.
Step 2: Meet With Each Person Separately First
Before bringing the two parties together, meet with each one individually. This gives each person the opportunity to describe the situation from their perspective without the other present, reduces defensiveness, and helps you understand both sides before forming any conclusions.
In each individual meeting:
• Listen without taking sides
• Ask open-ended questions: What happened? How long has this been going on? What have you tried? What do you need to be able to work effectively?
• Take notes
• Do not share what the other person told you
After both meetings, you will have a much clearer picture of what is actually happening and whether the conflict is primarily interpersonal, performance-related, or a potential conduct issue.
Step 3: Determine Whether a Joint Meeting Is Appropriate
For interpersonal and working-style conflicts, a facilitated joint conversation is often the most effective next step. For conduct issues involving potential harassment or threatening behavior, a joint meeting is not appropriate- those situations require a different process.
In a joint meeting:
• Set ground rules: one person speaks at a time, the goal is resolution not winning
• Summarize what you heard from each person without attributing statements to specific conversations
• Focus on behaviors and impact, not character or intent
• Work toward specific, concrete agreements about how both parties will interact going forward
• Document what was agreed to
Step 4: Set Clear Expectations and Follow Through
At the end of the resolution process, both employees should have clear expectations about their behavior going forward, and in writing. What specifically will they do differently? What is the consequence if the conflict continues or escalates?
Do not let the resolution conversation be the last one. Check in with both employees separately in the following weeks. If the behavior is improving, acknowledge it. If it is not, address it promptly through your progressive discipline process.
When to Escalate to HR
Escalate to HR immediately if the conflict involves:
• Allegations of harassment, discrimination, or threatening behavior
• A direct reporting relationship between the two parties
• Conduct that affects more than just the two employees in conflict
• Behavior that has continued despite prior intervention
When in doubt about whether something has crossed from interpersonal conflict into conduct that requires formal investigation, err on the side of escalating. The cost of over-escalating is a conversation. The cost of under-escalating a harassment situation can be a lawsuit. If you are unsure where the line is, Employee Keeps Complaining About a Coworker: When Is It an HR Issue? walks through exactly how to make that call.
The Manager’s Role
Your job in an employee conflict is not to make everyone like each other. It is to create a work environment where people can collaborate professionally and get the work done, regardless of their personal feelings. Focus on behavior and outcomes, not on the relationship itself.
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